First post

Please Do critique my writing and tell me exactly what you think

Prologue

The castle came alive as fire rained down upon it. Three dragons circled the sky above spitting fire down below. One green whilst the other two were of differing colours of brown. The riders on the back of the beasts steered them so that they also flew over the town outside the village. Archers bravely ran to the roof dangerously exposing themselves in the hope to take one of the great animals down. One of the dragons swooped over the small knot of archers and spat a huge gout of fire out. The archers were vaporised. Peopled tried to flee the town but cavalry on the fringes cut them down maliciously. A single crossbow bolt soared up from the battlements of the castle and flew into the eye of the green dragon dragon. The dragon let out a screech, twisted in the air and began falling. The rider on its back was screaming and flapping his arms like a bird. The dragon crashed into one of the taverns of the city with an impressive boom. The brave crossbow man disappeared into a doorway.

Remik watched stopped at the window to watch the beast’s last death throes. Continuing on he ran. His black hair was close cropped and he had an impressive scar running along his cheek. Remik leapt aside as one of his fathers stewards led a small tackle of children to what she thought was safety. Remik came to a set of winding stairs and took them two at a time. He needed to get to his fathers rooms to make sure he was still alive. Remiks sword slapped against his thigh as he reached the landing and continued his furious pace. A familiar face was coming towards him.

“Remik go back. Infantry are storming the lower levels.”

The man was Deran his father’s steward and personal bodyguard.

“Your father is down there leading the resistance. He ordered me to get you to safety.”

Remik looked at the man who had known him since he was born. Remik pushed past him and ran on with the older man following. He came to another winding staircase from the bottom of which he could hear fighting. Deran came up behind him and grabbed him.

“Remik, no. We must leave.” Shaking the man’s grip off Remik rounded.

“My father is down there, your sword brother and all you want to do is run off like some scared rabbit!” Deran let go of him and Remik ran down the stairs.

The scene that confronted him was horrible. The great hall was a ruin of soldiers fighting. The wounded lay on the floor screaming whilst the still able bodied men grunted and cursed as the fought sword to sword and spear to spear. Remiks father stood in the centre of the great hall where his chair would usually have been. In his hand he held a bloodied longsword. In the other he held a large shield with the family crest painted upon it. Around him a mix of city guard and the household guard stood fighting bravely in the face of an over whelming force. This overwhelming force wore the livery of the Ruranian legionnaires. They were running in through the open gates which just showed how unprepared the castle had been. Remik’s father saw him and looked over at him. Remik drew his sword and began running towards the battle.

His father yelled at him to go back and escape. Remik tried to ignore the warnings and pushed on slicing the head off a spear and cutting open the man’s jugular spraying blood everywhere. The blood clouded Remik’s vision. He wiped his eyes clear just in time to witness an arrow fly into his fathers throat. Remik watched as the large man fell to his knees as two arrows thudded into his chest. Two of the guard grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back. Remik watched as they tried to stop the bleeding. He couldn’t move. Everything in this world didn’t matter other than his father surviving. The two guardsmen stood from the corpse of their master and ran back to the battle.

The north wall sagged suddenly and bricks fell inward. Tears were flowing down Remiks cheeks as he stared at his father’s corpse. He stumbled towards it, his sword dropping from his unfeeling hands. The north wall exploded inwards and the head of a brown dragon came through followed closely by its body. It spat fire out into the fighting men killing indiscriminately. The rider was still tied to the saddle on the back of the dragon an arrow in his chest. He flopped about like a dead fish. Something grabbed the back of Remik and dragged him into the shelter of the staircase.

The heat was intense. Remik wept. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Deran was stood over him and pulled him to his feet. He dragged Remik up to the first floor. Behind them came the screech of the dragon. Remik stumbled on then fell to his knees.

“Get up you fool!” Deran grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him to his feet. “Do you want to die?” A tall slim figure appeared next to Deran.

“Move it Remik. If you want to avenge your father’s death then stand up and we will do it together.” The tall man spoke with calm. Remik looked up.

“Kiran? Is that you?” The man nodded and hauled Remik to his feet. “He’s dead Kiran.”

“I know Remik. I know.” Remik ran in the middle of Deran and Kiran. They came to an alcove that held a bust of Remik’s great grandfather. Kiran poked the bust in the eye which surprisingly slid back. A click sounded and a few seconds later the wall at the back of the alcove slid open. Remik walked to the new exit route. Looking down he looked at what he and his friends had used as children for a slide. It was exactly that, a slide that went on for half mile out of the castle and ended in a cellar of a respectable family’s house. Remik looked down the dark slide but couldn’t jump in.

“Remik move.” Kiran pushed him in the back forcing him to step forward and drop into the dark abyss.

Remik slid down the slide without making a single sound. Behind him he could hear Deran and Kiran sliding behind him. They slid for a good two minutes before Remik saw some light in the darkness. The light came up quickly then suddenly the slide beneath him was gone. He flew across the small cellar and collided with a padded wall and landed on a straw filled mattress. Remik instantly rolled as he hit the mattress just in time to avoid Deran. A second later Kiran came flying out and landed on top of Deran who grunted and cursed. Remik stood and looked over at the two men. He almost laughed but the thought of his father’s death came back to him.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” He said walking up the stairs into the main part of the house.

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